Bon Voyage

It all began that summer afternoon long ago. I remember it as if it were today; the humidity, the ice-cream man gracing my street with his presence, the nagging feeling I had that something wasn’t right. Despite that feeling that some things were not as they should be, I went ahead and booked my trip to Berlin. I never guessed that it would be the last time I would glimpse the Statue of Liberty as I sailed out of New York Harbor on the night of the July 17^th, 1919.


As my ship, the Preussen, left the harbor, I had that sinking feeling yet again in the pit of my stomach. A bowl of hot, steaming stew soon shoved that feeling to the side for the moment. However, I continued to feel that going forward with this business trip might not have been as important as I had thought, and began to seriously wish that I had never seen the contract that I had signed binding me to ship twenty thousand head of cattle to Germany. The recent termination of World War 1 did nothing to relieve the growing tension, but rather acted as an intense fuel to my growing apprehensions that my personal safety was at risk in Germany.

The only comfort I had was the service pistol that I still carried from when I was on the frontlines in World War 1. I felt that my m1911 was my only insurance for my life, and as such I always kept it by my side loaded and cocked. When I walked on the deck, my hand was always on the comforting pistol butt, ready at a moments notice to show the world that I was not to be messed with.

On the 8th day of an already stressful voyage, the Captain came over the loudspeaker, and asked the crew to report to the main deck immediately. About five minutes later I heard the steady thunk-thunk of the engine picking up speed. As I looked out my cabin window, I saw what the Captain had seen, a submarine off the starboard bow.

I then knew that I had been right, that I should’ve stayed in New York, and that my puny service pistol would be useless in the coming ordeal. But despite that, I was hesitant to get rid of it, and instead began looking for something to waterproof it in the probable case of my personal self being pitched overboard. Yet, even as I did that, I still hoped that it was all mistake; that the submarine was merely a U.S. sub patrolling the shipping route. In those last few minutes before the torpedo hit, I hoped, I prayed, I pleaded that I might never feel the shock or hear the noise as the torpedo hit. For despite my time in the Marine Corp., I still dreaded the water as no man ever has. When I purchased my berth aboard the Preussen, I did so under the desire and expectation that this would be a quick voyage without foul weather or other unpleasantries.

As I was thinking these gloomy thoughts, I felt, rather than saw or heard, the torpedo hit the engine room in the deck below me. I flung myself through the porthole more by instinct than any other reason, and felt that cold wetness that I knew to be the Atlantic Ocean slowly cover my body. It was only then that I realized I had not yet put on the lifejacket that I had placed on my bunk, and that my only chance at survival was to reach the submarine before I died from the cold.

Apparently others had reached the same conclusion; the raft being put out from the submarine had all the indications of coming for me, as the sole survivor of the Preussen, they were coming for me. I was helpless, and could only watch as the raft came nearer as the two sailors onboard combated the waves with the paddles they had in their possession. I knew my only choice was to submit if I wanted any chance of seeing my homeland, the good old U.S of A.

When the raft came alongside me, I spent my store of energy on raising my hands for them to grab. This they did with no great show of gentleness. I passed out.

Later, after coming to, I realized that there was no way of escape; that getting out of a submarine hundreds of feet below the murky surface of the Atlantic was an option that would never be available, especially to one with such an acute fear of the water as I had. I resolved then and there to confront those who had rescued me, and placed me under lock and key far from the light of day.

I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, in desperation, I started pounding on the walls, the door, anything that came in front of me as I staggered around my confines. After completely exhausting myself with this exercise in futility, I heard a key in the lock, and a squeal as the door opened to allow the passing of a masked someone in black.

His were the last words ever to sound upon my ears, and as I think of them, I feel the horror of his voice. Despite that, his words are precious to me as the last words I will ever hear in this lifetime. He told me, in the short minute he spent in my cell, that I was to be observed, watched, and experimented upon until the day I die. He told me that I was never to interact with another human other than to be passed food. Food which, he told me, would have various experimental chemicals and other nameless terrors in it. Yes, I was to be locked in a giant test tube as test factors were added. I could not help but asking why. Why me? Why this elaborate plot against ME? But he told me nothing and even now, as I write this, I sometimes wonder if this is real, if I am real.

An Analysis of Current Threats to the Brain

   So we thought we'd change things up a bit, and share a paper written long, long ago... or maybe in the not so distant past four years. This was co-written with out neighbor/friends in September, 2007. Enjoy!

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Psalm 139:14 “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

The brain is the one of the most important things that God ever created. It is the part of the human body that does our thinking. It tells us when and how to move our limbs and it tells the other important parts of the body whether they are functioning properly or not. In other words, the brain is the most important part of our body. It is extremely important to keep our brains from any kind of disease or serious malady.

A new kind of illness has come to the attention of some of our top scientific minds.  The following is a synopsis of their report to the Royal Science Institute.

“Due to the systems of pathogenic organisms, the brains of those inhabiting earth have become muddled, and have therefore become susceptible to the dangerous disease of hypothermia. The process of hypothermia causes the internal body to have a temperature of more than five degrees below zero, leaving the person unable to support any kind of mental strain and causing the brain to collapse. One of the most dangerous symptoms of hypothermia is a brain freeze. Brain freeze, essentially, is what happens when your brain becomes so completely strained that it tries to rest itself by shutting down. It is often referred to as a paralysis. This is usually brought on by junk food and particularly by: ice cream, hot dogs, and potato chips. Doctors have not yet found a solution for this strange phenomenon other than relative healthy eating.

Doctors have found that anyone in the vicinity of junk food often comes down with this dreaded disease.  Because of this, the disease is spreading so far as to greatly alarm government officials throughout the world. Incidentally, the effects of hemangioendothelioblastoma are intensified by the consumption of junk food. The muddled brains mentioned earlier are especially vulnerable to this.

It seems, moreover, that the mental stress that opium gives to the normal person is yet another of the many sources to which mankind has fallen into subjection, (literally fallen). The government has unsuccessfully tried to ban these drugs, and has also unsuccessfully tried to ban the smuggling of such drugs.  The methods which have been taken to do this have greatly aroused the anger of the citizens because of the unethical cruelty shown in so many cases.

As we reach the end of this very startling document, let us leave you with one more sample of the brains' diseases.  Seps ceph is an infection of the brain that causes it to rot like an unused tomato. This infection can be very painful because it often causes migraines, and severe pain in all parts of the body. So say the experts in medicine, neurology and psychology.”  
        The brave team currently investigating this alarming issue currently includes Professor John D., Phycologist Abigail D., Dr. Kathryn K., P.H.D, and Dr. Drew K., MD.  Others are called in daily, and we expect to soon arrive at a solution to these mind-boggling problems.  The team currently involved has some recommended reading for those interested in the study that has so far taken place. 

Recommended reading: Dr. Ben Carson is an expert neurologist who has studied the brain in extreme detail, his book Gifted hands is an excellent example of his work.  Dr. Kathryn K. has also written a practical handbook for those who are sensitive about their health called Junk Food and Your Hemangioendothelioblastoma, this tome is about the effects that junk food can have on your brain’s blood vessels.  What You Need to Know About Septcephnecrosis Syndrome by Dr. Drew K. is about the effects of muddled brains. Our honored Professor John D.  has kindly contributed an informative video entitled Government Drug Prevention and Why it’s Not Working. Also available is the book The Psychology of Mental Stress by Psychologist by Abigail D.

A note from the Editor

This article has been published in part because of the editor's deep concern, and also in part because as a major medium of information, the editor feels that it is his responsibility to pass on this vital information to those infected with the deadly disease. Please do your part in saving the world.  Pass this on to those you care about! And yes, that really long word is a real medical term and it's definition is correctly stated. Sound it out! It's fun to pronounce! The other one, Seps ceph, is a combination of two real medical terms, for which the authors took the liberty of defining in their own words.