In part two of this thrilling documentation of the Noodle Wars, we follow the path of Noodle Man and our hero, Fred Dunderson. In part one of this documentation, we wrote about the start of Ramen Man’s escapades. Weeks later, Noodle Man is still the center of attention in Houston.
Houston Daily News March 1, 1992
Noodle Man Still Loose!
Noodle Man scares the daylights out of Houston citizens with grotesque noodle creations. Citizens all over town woke up this morning to noodles sculptured to look like skeletons. Those who escaped the “art” found that they had a bundle of noodles stretched tightly across their door frames. Upset citizens have begun to purchase firing arms to repel night invaders. Houston is no longer amused by Noodle Man’s un-stoppable rampage. He MUST be captured, but who will do it? Inspector Bond, the man who, in conjunction with the Mayor, spearheaded the formation of the Ramen Squad, has done nothing, and his best man on the force, Fred Dunderson has resigned. What could possibly happen next!? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fred had a unique way of getting out of bed. First, he rolled over on his stomach, then he did a complex back-flip so that he was standing on the bed. He usually bumped his head on the low ceiling. After that, he made a flying leap for the light-switch by the door. This morning, he had an additional surprise. As he landed on the floor, a crunch met his ears. Simultaneously, he let out a yell.-- Yells are often the result of landing on ramen noodles unexpectedly in bare feet.
"Now," said Fred, seriously annoyed, as he turned on the light and surveyed the mess, "this has become a Personal battle! You're going down, Noodle Man!"
Fred immediately called his ex-buddy, Inspector Bond, to report the new incident. The Inspector was very encouraging.
"Well, Freddie old boy. Like as not Ramen Man heard you resigned and is thumbing his nose at you. I really don't see how you can capture the guy on your own. Besides, bless your heart, we've had fourteen other calls this morning. I'll send someone over eventually to file a report. I don't know why you called me though. Aren't you going to get the Noodle dude yourself?"
Fred hung the phone up in disgust. His next plan of action was breakfast. While waddling, I mean walking, to his car to grab a McDonald's burger, he made three interesting discoveries. There was dirt mark on the left side of his apartment door, a piece of dark cloth on caught on the thorn bush just outside, and, upon walking closer to the bush, a footprint that could only have been made by a man with a very wide right foot. Fred made sure that Inspector Bond, and the press were fully informed.
Houston Daily News March 2, 1992
Noodle Man “Noodles” Respectable Citizen.
Upon being informed of the recent incidents at Fred Dunderson's apartment, Inspector Bond honored the premises in person. Says Inspector Bond: "It is definitely a very wide imprint of a right foot. Whether a man or not is unknown. You know, some women have very large feet." He continues, “It is yet to be determined who is behind these mysterious attacks, for attack is really the only word that captures this person's actions. I have nothing further to say.”
Fred after making known his dislike for being Noodle Man’s victim, declared to those who would listen, that he would not rest until Noodle Man was under lock and key. He followed up this resolve with the declaration of his intention to begin his search that very day.
Although Fred was not always a particularly bright young man, once in a while he had a real lulu of an idea. Today, he was so angry that one such light bulb clicked on effortlessly. Fred deduced that the Mayor had never yet been noodleized. I mean, vandalized. Fred decided to stake out the mayor's house that very night.
Fred hit the jackpot. At precisely 12:31 a.m., a dark shadow crept across the mayor's lawn. Since it was necessary to catch the man in the act, Fred waited patiently. He was rewarded by the sound of ramen packages being opened stealthily. With a shout, Fred jumped up and shone his flashlight at the man. Unfortunately, he only saw the back of the man. Noodle Man escaped again, or so it seemed.
Fred's shout had awakened the mayor's wife. (The mayor himself was a sound-sleeper) The mayor's wife had caught a glimpse of the man's face as she hurried out a side door. From this second-hand source, Fred had a significant clue.
"He had a black eye! I've never seen such a one since my Tommie was little boy. Ha, he was one was my Tom. Always into fights he was, bless his little heart."
Houston Daily News
March 3, 1992
Noodle Man Seen in the Act! Escapes Yet Again!
Fred Dunderson and the Mayor's wife both saw Noodle Man last night. Fred says he has a clue, but he and the Mayor's wife are keeping a tight lid on their mouth's. Neither will reveal. Says Fred, "If I said what we saw, Noodle Man would be warned. I want to capture him, not be his early-warning system." The city of Houston believes Ramen Man is at last on his way to the end of his career.
So ends Part 2 of the Noodle Wars! Check back later to read the even more exciting conclusion!
Although Fred was not always a particularly bright young man, once in a while he had a real lulu of an idea. Today, he was so angry that one such light bulb clicked on effortlessly. Fred deduced that the Mayor had never yet been noodleized. I mean, vandalized. Fred decided to stake out the mayor's house that very night.
Fred hit the jackpot. At precisely 12:31 a.m., a dark shadow crept across the mayor's lawn. Since it was necessary to catch the man in the act, Fred waited patiently. He was rewarded by the sound of ramen packages being opened stealthily. With a shout, Fred jumped up and shone his flashlight at the man. Unfortunately, he only saw the back of the man. Noodle Man escaped again, or so it seemed.
Fred's shout had awakened the mayor's wife. (The mayor himself was a sound-sleeper) The mayor's wife had caught a glimpse of the man's face as she hurried out a side door. From this second-hand source, Fred had a significant clue.
"He had a black eye! I've never seen such a one since my Tommie was little boy. Ha, he was one was my Tom. Always into fights he was, bless his little heart."
Houston Daily News
March 3, 1992
Noodle Man Seen in the Act! Escapes Yet Again!
Fred Dunderson and the Mayor's wife both saw Noodle Man last night. Fred says he has a clue, but he and the Mayor's wife are keeping a tight lid on their mouth's. Neither will reveal. Says Fred, "If I said what we saw, Noodle Man would be warned. I want to capture him, not be his early-warning system." The city of Houston believes Ramen Man is at last on his way to the end of his career.
So ends Part 2 of the Noodle Wars! Check back later to read the even more exciting conclusion!
